A Living Novel
Chapter One: An Intro to Life
If all my thoughts became actions, this story would not exist. In the past few years, I have discovered a very important aspect of the life I live; it is more than an every day waking and breaking. The life of Holly Joy Scheirman is an unfinished story. My Author is still writing. The places I go and the people I see make me a part of history. I find that frightening but extremely inspiring in the same. Knowing that one day, my life story could be something more; having a dire significance to someone is an interesting and frightening thing to consider.
Being raised as an only child, I came to maturity faster. Many trials came against me as I was younger so I learned how to cope. Whether or not you have siblings, at one point or another, you know what it feels like to be alone. The more I attempted to show I was put together on the outside, the more alone I felt, the more scared I was, and the less I wanted to be alive. I was falling apart and I don't know that anyone knew.
For the most part, controlling your complete future is impossible. Yet, every action has an opposite or equal reaction according to Isaac Newton, and my action and decision not to follow through with ending it all gave the most REWARDING outcome. I had an epiphany after all the horrendous thoughts moved in and out of my mind. I live to tell my story. My life could affect someone else's life. That is why I am alive and here today.
There's a way I know that I didn't just get myself through this. I couldn't. Something bigger and greater than I took my suicidal thoughts, my loneliness, my emptiness and turned them into life, fullness, security, and joy. Just because of my past, I question my present; which is by no means a bad thing. I don't regret a thing. All I've accomplished or failed makes my life...a living novel.
Chapter Two: It All Began in a Hospital
When asked how my parents met, I hesitate to tell it like it is. With today's messed up views, people tend to draw really ridiculous conclusions, but this is part of my story and I could care less what the world thinks because without this story, I wouldn't be here.
"How did your parents meet?" he asked me. I questioned if I really wanted to tell him the truth. To my surprise, my gut reaction was to tell it all or all I knew. I'd never told the full story but I began, and everything made its way from thought to statement.
When my grandmother was hospitalized, my mother spent most of her extra time tending to her. (Her mother was all she had left after losing her father at the age of fifteen.) The way my parents actually encountered each other is very vague to me, but I know he was also in the hospital for the same reason as my grandmother.
My mother and father kept in touch as he left the hospital to return to his home in Oklahoma. For as much as I am informed of, they sent each other cards, letters, and food. How they got from this stage to the marriage stage is beyond me. I think my mom moved down here, and they eloped after living together for so long. (They lived in a crappy little farmhouse on the outskirts of town. They didn't have permission from the other joint owners which led to many fights even though they were family.)
A year or so after marriage, my mother got pregnant. About a week or so before Christmas, my mom went to the city for a check-up. The doctor kept her due to the fact she had acquired gestational diabetes. As she was in there, her mother-in-law brought my dad down. He was in no state to see my mom. Christmas Eve came and my mom was induced to labor. She attempted to have me naturally, but I was stubborn. Turns out I was birthed surgically on Christmas Day of 1993. Although that was a sweet event, my father punched out a window and was once again hospitalized.
I came home from the hospital to the same little farmhouse. Soon after, we lived in the Buccaneer Apartments. I was too little to remember much about the life there. Of course there are pictures and stories, but I know at the age of five we moved into the house we currently dwell in.
Chapter Three: The Present Ending
From elementary school to the transition to middle school, I grew up a little more. My memory of my younger years is quite cloudy except for the little things. I remember how easy it was to make a friend and how nothing mattered except sharing crayons or markers. I recall the transition from the "everyone is your friend stage" to the feeling of the need to be "cool". There was no way to be cool in mid-high because everyone was stuck in the awkward stage of braces and glasses. And then high school, you find yourself and your true friends...or I did at least.
The first year of high school is still as fresh to me as my current year as a junior. During my sophomore year, I felt as if everything fell apart. I felt alone and it seemed as if I had myself to battle the world. As the year progressed, sophomore year concluded better than it had begun. Junior year started and I began to rebuild myself. Sophomore year, I disappeared but junior year, I'm discovering who I am again. The year of 2010 needed to go. My thoughts on last year were perfectly described as this: "I'm not sad anymore. I'm just tired of this place. If this year would just end, I think we'd all be okay." The Wonder Years read my mind. I wasn't sad anymore; I was ready to start over.
My life is moving faster and faster. 2011 has many great things in store. I'm learning new traits about myself every day. The more I listen, the more I learn and the more I see, the more I know. For a fact, I believe in people and I believe in myself. I have big dreams and I am FULLY prepared to accomplish them. God brought me out of depression and into the light of happiness. I am fully secure in the fact that He can do EXCEEDINGLY and ABUNDANTLY above ALL I can think or imagine. Therefore, NOTHING is beyond my reach! I am Holly Scheirman and this...is my life.
There ya go. There's my life in a small story. There is so much more but details are hard to put in there all because it'd end up really turning into a full length novel...Maybe one day.
OH HEY!
I think there is something I'm forgetting in this blog, but I guess I'll just have to write another one soon.
Until phorever ends,
Holly Joy
:)