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By: Holly Scheirman
May 17, 2011
Happiness is
Overly expressed in
Love and
Life.
Yet sometimes it takes a little strife.
Just don’t give up.
Open up your heart.
You’ll never know just where to start.
Something tells of a greater
Calling.
Hear the voice resonating.
Each time
I hear the wind blow, I feel the
Rush to take
My life and go astray.
A new day is
Never too far away.
This is Holly
Identifying yourself is one of the hardest things to do I believe. Due to the fact that the way someone else sees me and the way I perceive myself are two polar opposites. I am my own worst critic.
Some tell me they like my clothes, I have a sweet heart, beautiful hair, a great mind, but I am only Holly. It’s taken me seventeen years to build my name. To me, I want people to remember Holly Joy Scheirman for more than an “A” student. I don’t only want to be remembered for my physical appearances but also for my figurativeness. There is more to me than meets the eye.
My mother named me Holly partly because I was born on Christmas, but she really just liked the name. It had no alternate connotations. My middle name is a hard one to live up to, but I fulfill it quite extraordinarily. My middle name was inherited from my grandmother.
I adore my name. Only about a year ago did I come to realize how much I truly liked it. As I got into high school, I had a moment where I came to experience how I could transform Holly Joy into the persona I want it to be. I began to create myself and am continuing to do so.
I am the girl in the crowd of strangers. I am wandering through the world with an unstated purpose to change. I am a teacher to some and a student always. I am determined, but I get scared of success. I am a lover. I am no where near average. I am one of a kind and, I’m going somewhere. I’ve got a big call on my life. I’m going to jump into the world as fast as I can but all the while keeping the faith. Until forever ends, I’m Holly Joy.
Dare to Dream
When the question exists, “What is my purpose anyway?” there seems to be a loss of hope. That statement itself cries out wanting an answer. At times, when that question exists, there is more going on inside. Thoughts creep into the mind that make you feel as if you have no purpose, that your life isn’t worth anything, and mostly the thoughts come into play saying, “YOU yourself aren’t worth anything”. And when you are caught up in these thoughts, you believe them and you tend to settle. I’m speaking from experience and I’m telling you first and foremost, you were created with a call greater than you can ever imagine.
Sitting alone and watching sometimes is a blessing in itself. When you take a step back to look at all those people who are unhappy with what they are doing, you realize they’ve only settled. For example, the mother who wanted to pursue a career in art but got pregnant and had to drop out of school to raise her child because the father could’ve cared less or the man who wanted to pursue a musical career but didn’t get his break when he felt he needed it so he gave up, there has got to be another way. There is patience, time, and taking risks.
As a popcorn generation, where we want everything NOW, patience has become less of the virtue it needs to be. Waiting for the prime moment will hold so many great opportunities. Whether it’s going that extra mile to complete a project you know might not get you anywhere or just trusting in God that everything is going to work out, it’s the factor of “What if”.
There is more to life than finding an answer to everything and settling for what life gives you. Go for the best. Want what God wants for you; there is a greater calling and a bigger purpose on your life than that of what the world can give you. Sure, you will be satisfied for a while with your worldly purpose but everything of the world falls apart at one point or another. Look at our economy, it falls apart and rebuilds but if you live in your calling and TRUE purpose, you won’t have to rebuild it. It will start with a foundation and continue expanding and becoming stronger and stronger. Don’t get me wrong, there will be tests against it, but don’t fear. For you can do all things with the strength granted to you through God. Even if you don’t believe in God, there’s still a reason why you are here and don’t lose hold of that, ever.
Each of us are unique in our own way; we all have different talents, characteristics, and purposes to fulfill.
Chartreuse
My favorite jacket worn every day
A warning of passing civilians
The apple which makes my face turn
Sounds as if a shard of glass
Tells the truth about a see
Resembles the sourness of a kid
Parallel to the fresh spring apple
Tastes as sweet as a popsicle
Brings about the bright of the sun
Reminds of the warmth in mid June
Chartreuse can make anything fun.
A wish for love across the world
“Don’t leave,” he said for hope unbound
The day will come to say goodbye
When he just realized what he’d found
“I wish I’d seen her light sooner.
Can I have some extra time?”
He’ll sit beside her without hesitation
“I can help you when you climb
To reach that stage of your utter goal.
I’ll see you soon,” said turning around
A wish for love across the world
“Don’t leave,” he said for hope now bound.
Just for Tonight by Phenomenon
In the streets watching the lights change, he’s with me and I’ve never felt this way.
There’s more to life than sitting round wondering about the past that’s never been too much for us.
And I know that time flies by.
And I know that we’ve got separate lives.
But just for tonight, we can make this last.
Sitting closer than we have before, you bring me in and keep me next to you.
I’m holding on. Don’t let me go.
And I know that time flies by.
And I know that we’ve got separate lives.
But just for tonight…
Hand in hand we’ll make a stand. Change is coming like I’ve never seen before.
We sit alone yet together as one and only for tonight, it’s you and me.
And I know that time flies by.
And I know that we’ve got separate lives.
But just for tonight, we can make this last.
A Living Novel
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January 25
2011
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Here is written my life from beginning to present. I’ve separated it into three different chapters and I plan to continue my journey with God writing as I go.
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This is my life. I am who I am becoming.
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(You can read this here : Autobiography)
Growing into the person I am today, I struggled with many things. Depression, loneliness, and an emptiness that I’d never known could be filled. I’d gone to church for as long as I could remember. My grandma practically forced me into it.
I was baptized at a young age and all I remember about the day was that I received a pair of pearl earrings from my grandma. It wasn’t a big deal. I continued on as a kid would. I never got into any big trouble, but in 7th grade, I began to spiral downward. I started hanging out with different people and I began cussing quite terribly. I never did in public but I thought it was cool and plus, people would like me right? Wrong.
As I continued with these friends, I was at one of their houses and we were on the computer. We came across pictures; the wrong kind of pictures. We cleared them as soon as we could but those pictures were with me for many more weeks. They just got me thinking about different things. Maybe if I’d risk anything to be loved, it would happen.
During the summer before my freshman year, I came to the point where if I was going to find love, I would risk it all. I would even give away the most precious thing I held. I longed for someone to hold me. I was lonely and fixed on the “fake” relationships that movies tend to give us. I wanted that more than anything.
Adding on to loneliness, depression sunk in. My father was mentally ill and used to verbally abuse myself and my mother. I grew so bitter towards him. I would not want to come home. I’d rather stay at school. I was even scared in my own home. The fights were horrid and all I could do was cry and hope that nothing would happen. I was so sick of everything that out of desperation, thoughts of suicide crept into my mind. I was a usually strong, happy person who seemed to have a perfect life on the outside but inside, I thought I was breaking into pieces. Something had to change.
I went to a church camp the summer after my freshman year and something changed. One night as I was getting prayed for, she said something along the lines of being hurt by my father. It hit me and I began to cry. Tears came from places I didn’t know existed. So many of my memories were stirred up that I was being mentally and physically cleansed just by crying. After that night, I felt ever so light. (Hey I made a rhyme! Not on purpose, I promise.)
After YFN, I joined the band at church and I’ve been in it ever since. I’m sure that was no mistake at all. Being in the band has helped me to open up more than I ever had before. It’s given me a true meaning of worship and it’s opened my eyes to different things. More than I can even begin to name but being in a worship band was/is one of the best things that has happened to me. I’m only 17 but it truly is.
God took me from the ground and built me up to the happiest I have ever been. I look back on what has happened in the past, and I’m amazed at how He’s given me this love and joy. He’s set a spirit of rest upon my household. My parents have their ups and downs but nothing like it used to be. By the grace of God, my life is wrecked. (That is a positive.)
I’m Holly Scheirman and this is my testimony.
Don’t die.
i’m not,seven
but i can write.
as if i’ve never been
hurt. or lost my fright.
i’m old enough to know better
but young enough to see
all of your
reality.
Hurting simplicity.
I turned it in for English, why not share it?